Fix It! I’m hurt.

Fix it.

The unspoken demand when disappointment strikes. Again. Unspoken, because there is no one you can truly demand to fix it.

Unspoken when you can’t take anymore and let go of your spouse. When your parent dies and leaves you to pick up the pieces. When your friend betrays you and you didn’t see it coming. When your job fails, and your identity comes into question. When your family forgets you and you no longer belong.

“Fix it” bubbles up inside of you … Chokes you … Glistens in every tear … Rages through your pain … Whispers below your anger … Muffles hope … Saps strength.

It rises in us all when logic fails and there is no action to take.

Grief is utterly natural when something or someone has been lost—or, taken from you. Grief manifests differently in us all and depends on what you’ve lost, your coping style, personality, experiences, and beliefs.

The grieving process takes time. It can’t be forced or rushed. If you’re grieving …

  • Be patient.
  • Give yourself permission to feel the pain and loss. Face your feelings and express them.
  • Accept yourself as you experience your pain, your emotions, your own way of healing, and your own timetable.
  • Get support, but don’t let anyone tell you how to feel—and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment.
  • Connect with others. Try to maintain your basic lifestyle to maintain roots and a sense of security.
  • Take care of yourself. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising.
  • Avoid overindulgence in alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, and will only make you feel worse in the long run.
  • Forgive yourself. Compassion and forgiveness for yourself and others is important in healing.
  • Plan a distraction. Give yourself a break from grief. Allow yourself small pleasures that may help you replenish yourself. It’s healthy to find appropriate distractions like going to a movie, dinner, or a ball game, reading a good book, listening to music, getting a massage or manicure.

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